old friends and organization

Every now and then I get these really vivid dreams which are kind of like a movie. Actually, a lot like a movie. I am seriously flying in the sky or inches away from an actor's face. Not in the romantic, I'm-about-to-kiss-them way, though. More like, once again, in a movie, where you are observing how they react, I suppose. Usually these dreams consist of warped past events and twisted versions of people I already know personally. Usually, they're not very nice. More often, I don't even remember any of it, I just get an overall feeling of the dream. That feeling, whatever it is, is usually uncomfortable and leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

So imagine my surprise, when last night, I have one of these vivid, movie dreams in which i actually remember bits and pieces, didn't know the people in it personally, and it didn't make me feel like punching someone in the face (preferably someone who was in the dream). This time, my dream had Ryan Reynolds, Emma Watson, and a collection of what I think must have been comic book background characters brought to life. I don't know why Ryan Reynolds, since I've never obsessed over him or anything (read that with absolutely NO sarcasm. I'm being serious), nor why Emma Watson since I haven't watched Harry Potter or anything with Emma in it in ages. 

Back to business, the content of my dream was basically X-men. Really. It was, like, mutants vs. humans, and Emma Watson was a mutant, but Ryan Reynolds wasn't--but for whatever reason he was trying to protect the mutants. I just re-watched X-men Origins: Wolverine last week, so I'm guessing that that's why Ryan Reynolds was calling himself Deadpool... Anyway, it was bizarre and involved some sort of plane in heavy turbulence nearly crashing, but Emma was trying to prevent it from crashing, but all these humans were blaming her for the turbulence, thus preventing her from concentrating, but Ryan was there to kick ass and calm things down so Emma could concentrate and--I don't know, man. Maybe I should become a filmmaker.

And then, as I contemplated life and dreams and just now, it occurred to me that I am living the moment of "when I grow up". I don't know if this scares anyone else, but, like, what do I do? I thought I knew my exact path, I thought I was mature, I feel like I'm doing what I'm supposed to--but this is the time where I get to choose who or what I want to be. I get to choose my life now; do whatever I want. It's terrifying. 

I could change my entire future with a small change in decision. Maybe I take a different course than planned, maybe I switch schools, maybe I move out. Either one of these decisions will not only shape my opinions for the future, but how I live and perceive life. One small change in my life now could change everything in the future. This blog could change everything, too. Who knows? I don't, and the unknown is pretty scary. 

So I feel like I should grasp everyday, you know? Do things and try new things. Finish all those projects I've got on Pinterest. One such project--not on Pinterest--is macarons. I believe I talked about this before. I was making them with my good friend Erika (her blog here), who is a better writer and iPhone photographer than myself (I've never actually compared photos from a digital camera with her, so hold judgement!). Therefore, you can blame her for my poor quality photos of our "macarons" (really just cookies) as she has not sent me the photos she took.

We decided last night to make lemon macarons (original recipe). Let's just say it did not go as planned. I'm going to blog about that particular experience in another post, just because (a) it deserves one, (b) it's going to be long, and (c) this one's pretty long itself!

Before I leave, however, I am contemplating doing one of those schedule things. Like a DIY Tuesday or like a trending Thursday or Food Friday or Mismatched monday or, you know. I don't know. Can I commit to this?

Macarons (sort of) and hilarity to come!